Friday, November 18, 2016

Seasoned with Salt and Speaking to Strangers

If you have ever read my blog, you know that I have never made a secret of my struggle with acne and the resulting hyper-pigmentation; however, I'm not sure if I have told about the many times I've been approached about it by friends and strangers alike. 
As you can see, the hyper-pigmentation is pretty obvious. 
I was at Lowe's with my family. The purpose was to take my 2-year-old niece to get some pink flowers so she'd have her own garden (she's been claiming gardens as her own and picking the pink flowers.) Anyway, as we headed to the register, I was waylaid by a black lady I would guess to be in her 50s. Since I had a camera hanging around my neck, I assumed she was going to ask about it. Instead, she simply said, "Your face, what do you use on it?" 

I groaned inwardly. I've had too many of these experiences to be shocked, and yet I worked at Chick-Fil-A long enough to feel I have to be polite to everyone. I opened my mouth to answer. 
"My grandson has that same problem." she stated.

I again took a moment, and thinking a little more of her now that I knew she had a point besides selling some products or nosiness, I replied, "It was worse than this. I have a hormone imbalance, and it causes acne, but once the acne is gone it leave these marks behind. They take awhile to go away."

 "You should try cocoa butter." She said.

"I haven't tried that," I answered "but I'm supposed to be wearing sunscreen, and I didn't all summer. Almost everything that helps the marks makes your skin sensitive to the sun." I admitted. 
She thanked me for that tip, because black people still neglect sun protection for the most part.We were settling into the conversation, and she started asking if I knew anything about eczema and when I told her yes, she wanted me to write down what I suggested for it. 
 Somehow, this lady managed to make me feel chastened (for not doing what I know to do for my face), and yet uplifted. This is a rarity when it come to discussions about my face, it is a very tender subject for me! With that being said, I would suggest that she start off the conversation in a different way next time, And I won't lie about wanting to go straight home and slather on sunscreen and makeup or just hide under my covers... but I could tell that her heart was in the right place and I'm gonna try that cocoa butter! 

We are so quick (me included) to get upset because we think we know where someone is coming from, but sometimes grace and a hearing ear are called for. My verse of the week is from Colossians 4:6 and says "Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.
What experiences have you had with strangers approaching you? Have they been mostly negative or positive? Tell me below in the comments!


  1. Now that I have kids it seems people only ever approach me about them...and it's been overwhelmingly positive (what can I say? they're cuties). The most comments, however, came when my son had plagiocephaly (a flat spot on his head) and was wearing a corrective helmet. Nobody knew what to make of it, and those who understood what it was often seemed pretty judgmental....(as if the flat spot was caused due to wasn't).

    Now, however, I make a point to approach other moms whose kids are wearing corrective helmets...I tell them how cute their kids look in them, and let them know how much it helped to lessen my son's flat spot.

    And you know what? Those moms look so grateful to not have to explain, and to hear a positive comment

    1. Yes! People are generally uncomfortable with things they don't understand, I think the worst part is when they approach and act like an authority, but really know nothing about your situation.

      That is so sweet of you! I'm glad you used your experiences to brighten other people's lives.


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